Going through a divorce can be overwhelming and terrifying. For men, a divorce may result in a new parenting arrangement, moving to another home, and added expenses, all to be balanced while already juggling a career and other responsibilities. As a result, it may feel as though there are not enough hours in the day, leaving many men going through a divorce little to no time to practice self-care.
Some men may shrug and say life can be (and often is) hectic, and there must be some sacrifices in the name of obligation, even if that includes temporarily sacrificing your mind and body. However, this mindset can be detrimental to you and those around you during and after your divorce.
While you may feel as though you have no extra time for self-care, if you expect to be at the top of your game in all aspects of your life, including the divorce process, you need to feel strong physically, mentally, and emotionally. Establishing a self-care regimen can help in all three of these areas.
If you are a man embarking on or going through a divorce, below are a few helpful tips for practicing self-care and why each is important.
Practice healthy lifestyle habits during your divorce.
The little habits you practice in your everyday life can make or break your mental and physical well-being. For instance, if you eat junk food instead of balanced, nutritious meals or regularly do not get enough sleep, you may feel sluggish and unable to handle the tasks at hand.
During a divorce, you need to be alert and ready for challenges, including in the courtroom. Research consistently links healthy sleeping and eating habits to overall health and performance improvement.
Likewise, physical activity improves health. Physical activity could entail going to the gym but could also translate to a low-impact morning walk or yoga. The point is to get your blood pumping.
Exercising releases dopamine, a hormone that increases feelings of happiness. There are endless other positive effects that exercise brings about, including a healthy immune system and heart health.
Build a strong support system during your divorce.
Divorce can be a mentally taxing and difficult process, leaving many men feeling like they can’t express the pain they are experiencing outwardly. Due to the stress placed on men during a divorce, they may not have time to be as social as they once were with friends and family. Or, they may feel shame and sadness over the ending of their marriage, prompting them to isolate themselves from others.
The pandemic exacerbated this. In one study, researchers found that people’s professional and social networks decreased by 16 percent. According to the study, the phenomenon affected men more severely.
All of these behaviors can increase men’s risk of developing anxiety and depression. With anxiety and depression, men may isolate themselves more, perpetuating their depressive state further.
Therefore, men need to make sure they have a strong support system to help them through difficult days. Knowing there are people around who care and want to help can make all of the difference.
It may be beneficial for men to hire a counselor or therapist during the divorce process, as talking through issues with a trained professional, especially those consequent to a divorce, can prove helpful. The internet also offers plenty of online resources where men can find a community of other men going through divorces or who have survived them.
Knowing there are other people out there, even if they are strangers, who understand what you are going through can bring solace during and after a divorce.
Be optimistic during your divorce.
The way you view the world can play a significant role in your mental health. If you approach a situation and only see the worst in it, you will feel the same.
Given the upheaval typical of divorce, it is easy to get caught up in the tumult. However, focusing on the positives in your life can help you develop a more positive perspective and feel better.
Remember, there are valid reasons why your marriage wasn’t working. Though change can cause fear of the unknown, think about your divorce this way: You are in the process of building a better future, one in which you can be happy. That should be the goal you are working toward now, so let it fuel and excite you. Things will get better.
Schedule time for yourself.
Between juggling family time, career, finances, and now divorce, and all of the overwhelming demands of dissolving a marriage, it might feel like you will never have time for a break. However, everyone needs time to recharge. That includes divorcing men, particularly dads.
Healthy breaks include engaging in an old or new hobby, meditating, going for a massage, hiking, journaling, working out, or doing whatever allows you to get your mind off your divorce. It doesn’t have to be for hours each day. A break can be as short as you like, so long as you give yourself enough time to power down for a bit. Put the time into your schedule to ensure it is there for you.
Finding time to take a break may mean that some men, particularly workaholics, will need to learn better time management skills. For others, it may mean learning to say no. And that is OK because by saying no, you are saying yes — to yourself.
Find an Alabama family law attorney.
Like women, men can benefit from practicing self-care. This is especially true during trying times, such as a divorce.
At Summit Family Law, our team of Alabama family law attorneys cares about the health and well-being of our clients. We are here to support you through all aspects of your divorce and its implications. Call us at our Birmingham or Huntsville offices today to schedule a consultation.
