Divorced Dads: What Your Sports-Playing Kids Need From You

While rewarding, having sports-playing kids can place many demands on you — on your time, your wallet, and your emotions. It can be particularly straining if you are a separated or divorced dad in Alabama struggling to stay involved while navigating a co-parenting arrangement that limits your time with your child. As a divorced dad, you want the memories you share to be meaningful and positive. With this in mind, here’s what kids who play sports in Alabama need from their divorced dads. 

Support for Their Dreams

If your son dreams of playing football for Alabama or your daughter wants to become the next Venus Williams, support those dreams. Even if you don’t think these dreams could ever come true, they’re your children’s dreams, not yours. 

As a parent, it’s your job to support your children in working hard and doing their best. There are many ways to define athletic success short of the big goals they may have. Besides, who are you to say what will happen in the future and what is or isn’t possible? 

We all can recount stories from people we know and those we don’t who beat the odds. Don’t become the parent your kids describe later in life as the one they had to prove wrong. 

Physical Presence and Attention

We live in a technological society where it’s easy to be overstimulated as well as accessed by anyone who wants to reach us. It’s, therefore, up to you where you will want to draw the line for interruptions during your children’s sporting events. 

Kids are watching to see you’re watching them on the field or court. Even though you may have spent hours throwing a football with them in the yard or helping them perfect their serve, if they see you on your phone or not paying attention, chatting up other parents on the sidelines, your children may think you aren’t interested. Worse is if you don’t show up at all. 

Your physical presence and your attention matter. This is especially relevant if your divorce is the reason why you can’t see your kids as often as you did when you lived under the same roof. Don’t let idle distractions steal the time you have or compromise it. 

A Role Model

Kids’ sporting events can get rough — on the field as well as on the sidelines, where parents can take rivalry or criticism too far. In many ways, sports are a microcosm of the rest of your life, and when you don’t treat people well at sporting events, whether your own child, someone else’s, or other spectators, chances are, you’re probably exhibiting the same behavior elsewhere in your life, including at home behind closed doors. 

Check yourself. Not only are you serving as a role model for your child, you’re doing so for everyone else’s child. The best way to teach your child to treat others well is to do so yourself. Not to mention, why would you want to become a source of embarrassment for your child due to your public displays?

A Cheerleader 

In addition to being a role model, it’s helpful to become a cheerleader for your child, even if you’re the only one. Not every kid will excel at sports. However, the effort they put in is worth your praise. 

Your child will benefit from your support simply by knowing you are there for them, no matter what happens. When you offer constructive criticism privately to help them improve or comfort them when a game or match doesn’t go their way, they will recognize that your words are coming from a good place. 

Emotional Support

In sports, there will inevitably wins and losses, not all of which will coincide with the final score in the game. For example, a child’s team could win — without them ever getting off the bench. Or, your child could fumble, causing their team to lose. 

Whatever it is, there will be rough days when your child will need your emotional support. Be there for them, no matter how disappointed you may be or how insignificant you think what they’re upset about is. It’s not insignificant to them. 

Maturity

Not every co-parenting relationship will run smoothly. There may be times when you find yourself at odds with your ex, leaving your child caught in the middle. Sports can quickly become a hot-button issue, with disputes arising over who’s attending an event, driving their child to it, going out afterward, paying for equipment or fees, and anything else you can imagine — and not. 

However difficult it may be, remember that your child depends on you as their parent to display maturity in high-stress situations. If their other parent is not behaving maturely, do everything you can to avoid petty arguments, resolve disputes amicably, and take the high road. Where that becomes impossible, keep your children out of the crossfire and let your attorney know so they can advocate on your behalf.  

Find an Alabama Family Law Attorney Who Supports Dads in Divorce

Men face unique challenges in divorce and other family law matters, which is why we at Summit Family Law have made it our mission to support them. If you are facing a situation you believe could benefit from the insight, skill, and experience of an Alabama family law attorney, we are here to help. Our team of compassionate family law attorneys handles all aspects of men’s divorce and accordant issues and can help you. Call us today or schedule a consultation.