Divorce can feel like a tornado, sweeping everything you know and love into a vortex, only to leave you to create some semblance of order afterward. Remaining grounded and focused during a divorce when everything feels uncertain may be one of the biggest challenges you have faced to date. But rest assured; there are ways to harness these winds of change — ways to achieve stability amid an Alabama divorce without letting it upend your future and, instead, plan for it. Here’s how.
Lean on people during your divorce who care about you and your well-being.
Someone doesn’t need a degree or professional training to be helpful to you during your divorce. Others you may know or not know yet can offer sage advice or an open ear that can change your experience during this transitional time.
Positive-minded friends and family, for example, can rally around you with kind words, moral support, and practical guidance. So, too, can clergy. Then there are the support group members (if you choose to join a support group) walking this road simultaneously as you to lean on and share your experiences.
The key is to pick and choose those who comfort you. Listen to your gut about the advice you receive and whether you want to follow it. Sometimes, just hearing advice that doesn’t feel right can be equally valuable, helping you to clarify your goals.
Get a handle on your finances.
Even though you may feel like your financial future is uncertain, you can protect it by getting a handle on your finances if you don’t already have one. Though you may not be able to access all the accounts or statements you need to (see our list of what you may require during a divorce), even recognizing what’s missing can aid your Alabama family law attorney immensely during the discovery stage of divorce.
If you have never handled your finances independently, don’t worry; anyone, including you, can learn these skills. Your Alabama family lawyer can guide you to financial professionals, such as financial planners and accountants, to get you started.
Avoid making impulsive decisions during divorce.
It is often wise to practice patience during the divorce process. Although you may be tempted to act quickly to settle your affairs and make your plans now because that feels better than living in flux, impulsive decisions usually cause further and unnecessary complications.
Instead, do your best to intentionally move through the divorce process — by gathering as much knowledge and resources as possible so you can make informed decisions. When you make informed decisions, you are less likely to act and react emotionally and second guess your decisions later.
Prioritize your emotional well-being.
An effective way to become intentional about your divorce is to become a master at controlling your emotions. It’s no secret that divorce is a rollercoaster ride where emotions can change from moment to moment. For example, you can go from feeling despondent and fearful to happy and excited about what lies ahead. You can also experience a rush of emotions at once. Neither does anything to help decision-making nor does it help you to preserve your health (discussed below), which can deteriorate during periods of high stress.
Being able to control your emotions during a divorce can also go a long way toward limiting controversy between you and your soon-to-be-ex, controversy that can turn a straightforward dissolution of marriage into a high-conflict divorce. Controlling your emotions is especially important if you and your ex will be co-parenting together. Because judges base decisions on what will be in the best interests of the children, if parents are acting in a way that doesn’t do so and, instead, puts their own emotions first, everyone in the family can suffer for it.
Take care of your mental and physical health.
To make the best decisions you can at any given moment, decisions you have thought through with the information you had readily available to you, you must be able to think clearly. Doing so requires caring for your mind and body.
Eating nutrient-rich food, staying hydrated, limiting alcohol consumption, moving your body, and getting ample sleep daily are fundamental steps in building and maintaining strength when everything around you is working to deplete those stores. In addition, regulating stress by engaging in daily meditation can be good for your health.
Find an Alabama family law attorney to plan for your future after divorce.
Divorce is more than a process containing a beginning, middle, and end. Yes, the divorce process “ends” in a divorce decree, but that’s just part of the healing, part of the recovery, and part of the growth. Winds can wreak havoc but they can also carry you to a better place and a better time when you will be equipped to weather any future storm you face.
At Summit Family Law, our team of Alabama family law attorneys is here to help you weather these storms as well as protect you from future ones that can arise in any family law or estate planning matter. With offices located in Huntsville and Birmingham, we are here to talk when you need us. Call us today or schedule a consultation here.
