A viral post recently made waves across the internet, claiming that NBA star Anthony Edwards paid $1,080,000 in child support all at once—essentially prepaying 18 years at $5,000 a month. While the post reads like a mic-drop moment—“Don’t ask me for a thing for the next 18 years!”—it opens the door to a much deeper and more uncomfortable conversation: What does true responsibility look like when it comes to raising children?
Let’s be clear: financially supporting your child is the bare minimum. No one is giving out awards for paying child support, especially when you’re in the top 1% of earners. Money can buy clothes, daycare, and even a college fund. But it can’t replace a father’s consistent presence, guidance, or emotional investment. If Anthony Edwards brought a child into this world but intends to remain emotionally and physically absent for 18 years, that’s not just irresponsible—it’s heartbreaking.
But here’s the thing: responsibility doesn’t start when the child arrives. It starts the moment two adults choose to create a life. And in that conversation, both parties matter.
We constantly talk about men stepping up—and rightly so. But we also need to talk about women stepping back and thinking: Is this the man I want to raise a child with? Did we have a real conversation about parenting? About values? About involvement? Did she assume he would show up, or did he promise he would and then bail?
Too often, babies are born out of situations that were never aligned to begin with. Lust isn’t a parenting plan. We cannot continue to normalize the idea that women bear the full emotional and physical brunt of parenting, while the men get to write a check and disappear. Nor can we continue pretending that a man’s disinterest was unknowable. The red flags are usually there. We just have to be willing to see them.
The truth is, if we want better outcomes for children, we need to expect more of both men and women. Women must stop creating permanent ties with men who have no interest in being permanent figures. And men must understand that bringing a life into this world comes with a commitment that far exceeds a dollar amount.
Let’s raise the bar for fatherhood—but let’s also raise the bar for who we allow into our lives before we make a child.
Because our kids deserve more than a lump sum. They deserve a life with two present, committed parents who chose each other—and chose them.
Image by Wikipedia via Wikimedia Commons.
